Llama Drama

Cody Rhodes vs Dustin Rhodes (aka Goldust)

I thought this is obvious with the path that the Rhodes family is going down, with Cody being the “cold-hearted, greedy” brother. I see Cody winning, if only to put him even more over and possibly begin his main event push. Even if he loses, the match could still catapult him from upper-mid card to main event status, maybe with a humbler image from losing to his so-called “pathetic excuse for a brother.”

Dolph Ziggler vs Foley

Now, this may seem like a stretch to a lot of people, but we’ve seen this play out before with Edge and Orton both. Both were up and comers, ready for the main event scene, but they hadn’t really shown that they were ready or even able to pull off an edgier side (no pun intended) and get extreme. Ziggler is following that same path. He’s ready for a main event push, he just needs to show that he can go all out. Not that he hasn’t already, he just needs those rough edges ground out and he’ll be one of the biggest stars in the business.

The Jericho Scenario in general

Now, I’ve been confused with the angle they’re going with Jericho. If he were going to be made a face/babyface, they would’ve had him talk long before tonight, get the crowd more amped up and he wouldn’t’ve walked out last week in the tag. But if they were going full heel, they wouldn’t be doing this either as they’d be having him get more heat. Potentially a great tweener persona for him, although I feel he’s at his best as a heel. Whether or not he wins at the Rumble remains to be seen, as this year’s Rumble could go several ways, but either way I expect to see the following match….

Jericho vs Punk for the WWE title at Mania

This is the only other potential draw they could have for the event, IMO. With Rock vs Cena already cemented for the main event (although, prior to last year, the main event was always supposed to go to the Rumble winner… it was the first match last year, talk about dropping the ball WWE. And that sub-par Taker vs HHH match? Give me a god damn break…), you can’t really give Punk anyone else to go up against. I don’t see Punk dropping the title to anyone over the next two months, unless some insanity happens at the Elimination Chamber event, but again, who can carry a title match at Mania who’s name is not Punk or Cena (as much as I hate Cena with a a thousand hell flames, I like the angle they’re giving him right now. He’s technically still a face, but he’s doing more heel-ish things, better than his Super-Cena gimmick, although he does still stick to that…)? Triple H certainly isn’t getting another title match unless he gets gold-thirsty and wants to abuse his power in the booking department. Punk vs Jericho would be an insanely solid match with two people who’ve claimed at one point or another to be the “Best in the World.” Although, even with that, I see a stable forming, and this is going to be really far-fetched, but we’ve seen this kind of swerve before….

Stable with Jericho/Punk/Laurinitis

Remember the Attitude Era? I certainly do. There were more swerves, heel turns, face turns, tweener turns, firings and hirings, than even Penn State could handle right now. People want those days back, I don’t understand why. Booking was meh, matches were more flair than wrestling, and the only thing really great about the Attitude Era were the promos. Which brings me to the above prediction, which of course, would only happen if Laurinitis doesn’t become Ziggler’s manager after he gets fired as Executive Vice President of Talent Relations/Interim GM of Raw. I’ve been sensing a return of the stables in WWE. The tag team division is in shambles (Bourne doing his Jeff Hardy impression isn’t helping one bit…), and there’s only one other stable right now and that’s Swagger/Ziggler/Vickie, which is a sick joke. The guy’s don’t even go well together. On paper, sure, but the chemistry is off most of the time. Jericho and Punk could CLICK, I mean REALLY CLICK. If them and Laurinitis were to form an alliance, it’d be the icing on the cake to those who want the AE back, two faces with the “evil boss” like those few times Austin and McMahon worked together and when The Rock first joined the Corporation, left, and re-joined numerous times. It could work, but maybe I’m too hopeful for WWE to do something drastic with Punk. Granted, he’s been my favorite wrestler since I first saw him in Ring Of Honor and I absolutely adore him as a hardliner heel persona, I do love the Pipebomb Punk of today. I believe, that with the following he’s gathered, WWE still wouldn’t lose any merch sales from Punk (he’s number 1 as of the last time I checked, finally bumped Cena because Cena’s new shirt is terrible) if he were to go full-on heel, same with Jericho, you just love to hate the guy. 

We’re more likely to see the Laurinitis/Ziggler scenario than the stable possibility, but that’d be the best route to go to stir things up right now, IMO.

AS FOR THE ROYAL RUMBLE

I have it down to a possible two or perhaps three. The third is wishful thinking. You have Wade Barrett, Sheamus and Drew McIntyre. Hear me out on McIntyre before you pass judgment: I know he was kayfabe fired on Smackdown. Good Ol’ Johnny ain’t gonna let the formerly known as “Chosen One” go away that easily. He’ll be resigned to Raw. If he could win the Rumble, he could go on to face smackdown’s champ at Mania to throw it all in Long’s face for firing him. The winner of Rumble definitely is not facing Punk/Raw Champion unless Jericho wins the Rumble and goes after Punk, I just can’t see another competitor for Punk’s title at this time. I would love to see a Barrett vs Bryan WrestleMania match, but you never know what they’re going to do with the Orton vs Barrett feud. Will it die at the Rumble? Will it continue to the chamber which both men will almost inevitably be in? Will it actually last to WrestleMania? Will there be a title involved if it DOES go to Mania? Too many variables and Orton gets bitchy with managment when he’s not at the top of the heap these days, or so it seems. He simply seems like he doesn’t want to get the new guys over. That is one thing I’ll give Cena credit for (I know it’s booking keeping a title off of him until after Mania but still….) he’s held off on the title hunt and had this small feud with Kane to last him til Mania so that people don’t forget about him. Although it would be interesting to see a Brock/Rock style training montage, with Cena in the Russian mountains from Rocky IV with a full beard grown and just come back a total barbarian. Wishful thinking though. Orton needs to help guys get over. Plain and simple. 

Taker at Mania

Will we even see the Once-a-year-not-so-Phenomenal-One? If Foley doesn’t have a match with Ziggler, will we see one final encounter with the two? Or will it be Kane helping Taker reach 20-0? Will we see Taker vs HHH 3 (although it’ll be billed as 2 because WWE thinks we all forgot about Wrestlemania 17. Look back to the promos from last year, they act like it’s the first time those two ever squared off…)? Or will we see Nash step up again for his second attempt? I don’t see a “newer” guy trying to take on The Streak, Taker’s too old and too worn out to put on a competitive match with anyone under the age of 40, hell the man looked like he had a stroke halfway through the match last year, or even earlier. He simply can’t do it anymore. Might as well try to sign Sting from TNA/NWA/IMPACT whatever the hell you want to call it these days for a night and have the two biggest icons in wrestling duke it out. But we’ll never see that. It’s the dream match of all dream matches with those two in their primes. 

Anyway, those are my predictions. Dispute them if you want, hate me for my remarks, if I’m wrong, hey I’m wrong, “to err is human,” and if I’m right, then cool. But I’ll enjoy watching either way. 

Llama, out. 

The glass isn’t empty.
It’s half full….
Of poison

So, this week I found out that my college is screwing me over and increased the number of credits required for me to graduate. I’ll be 21 years old when I finally do graduate, which is also the age that Americans are eligible to take the Civil Service exam.

What I’m saying is this: Once I graduated, I will have my Bachelors of Network Communications Management and I’ll also be eligible to take the Civil Service exam to become a Police Officer. While I’ve always thought about becoming a cop, my computer know-how and previous love for all electronics took over my career choice when it came time to settle on a college.

Well, after my first year of college, I had already decided I didn’t want to do what I’m getting my degree in, but I also didn’t the money spent to go to waste. So, I’ve trekked onwards and am now near completion of my second year, which was the original time I was supposed to be graduating.

Now, with the degree that I will be receiving next year, I can take this background into the Police Force and become a Cyber Forensics Officer, which is my long-term gameplan. If I have to start as a cop working the beat, that’s fine.

I just REALLY don’t want to spend my time in stuffy office buildings getting frustrated and angry at user errors because most users are stupid and the leading cause of all computer issues in the first place.

As many of you may now know, the top story on the internet today is the fact that Randy Orton defeated Christian at the Smackdown taping last night to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

After speaking to several key WWE insiders, WrestleZone can now provide details behind why WWE decided to book this major title change just days after Christian won the title at Extreme Rules.

To begin with, as we exclusively reported several days ago, Randy Orton is set to become the focal point of the Smackdown brand, and the entire Friday night show will be centered around him from both a marketing and creative standpoint. Orton’s position on Smackdown can be compared to John Cena’s position on Raw, as WWE looks at both talents as the creative centers of their respective brands.

Additionally, we were told that Christian’s title win at Extreme Rules was done not so much as a “well deserved win for Christian,” but much more so that a big moment could be made for Edge at the PPV. “Vince [McMahon] could smell, touch and taste a moment between Edge and Christian celebrating on PPV, and that’s the major reason why Christian was awarded the title.” This dispels any conspiracy theories that Christian was awarded the title to keep it on Smackdown, as we were told it would have been very easy for WWE to throw a third party into the Extreme Rules match which would have kept the title off Christian and still on Smackdown.


As to the question of why WWE stripped Christian of the title so shortly after his win at Extreme Rules, WZ was told that no one in WWE with any kind of influence values Christian as a top money draw for the company. Christian is well liked, and is considered, as we were told, “a reliable hand,” but when it comes to being a top player in WWE, Vince McMahon has absolutely no faith in him.

Brian Gewirtz, who is the head writer on Raw, and also oversees the entire writing staff in general, which means he does have influence on the direction of Smackdown, is said to be a big supporter of Christian, but other than him, there appears to be no other members of WWE’s top brass that consider Christian to be a major player. And yet, we’re told by our key WWE insider that even Gewirtz wouldn’t speak up for Christian as a top draw. “Brian knows Christian is a very entertaining wrestler,” we were told, “but even he knows Christian should not be the number one guy on either brand.”

As we said, however, Christian is still considered to be a quality worker and a reliable hand for WWE, and we were even told that a possible producer/agent position might be available for him when his wrestling days are over, but as far as Christian ever working at the top of a WWE brand, that seems to be a very unlikely possibility.

Taker deserves to win and hold onto his Streak. It’s precious and should remain untouched, but I see WWE ruining yet another great thing and having Triple H winning. Miz NEEDS to retain against Cena. Cena’s staler than a saltine left outside for 9 years. Miz retains then goes on to face Morrison at the next PPV, Morrison wins, they feud, eventually Ziggler gets a title match and gets the belt. Just some future predictions.

Rhodes should beat Mysterio. Heels need to win the first real PPV match in a feud for it to be interesting and I really hate Mysterio. Think he’s far overdone. Don’t care about the 6 person mixed tag, so I don’t care to make a prediction.

Alberto Del Rio bests Edge, I hate to say it but it’s going to happen. Edge will be ‘injured’ for a few months and Christian will win the belt sometime soon so that when Edge returns, he and Christian can have the feud we’ve been waiting to see.

The Corre isn’t slated for a match yet, but I’d like to see them lose the tag titles. Whoever Barrett defends against at Mania if he does, he should beat and hold the IC title for awhile.

And finally, if WWE does things right, Bryan Danielson should win back his US title. He deserves it and it would be his first Mania match and he deserves that spotlight. If matches get added or I forgot anything I will edit this at a later time as things transpire.

Edit: I forgot about the Orton v Punk match. As stated in Rhodes/Mysterio, the heel should win the first match. Lately, Orton’s been a powerhouse, but I would prefer WWE have Punk win this match. It would make things much more interesting and help set up a halfway decent feud.

Apparently, when you ask out a girl these days, the answer that’s hot in the streets right now is, “I don’t know how to reply.” 2 for 2 now.

My dad used the phrase, ‘bust a cap in yo ass.’

Now, I’m generally known as the nice guy, but when I get pissed off, I’m like the damn Antichrist.

Ladies, no matter what you say, us guys have it worse in life. Yes, you have periods and childbirth, but you control everything about life. You dictate relationships. You dictate which guy gets laid every night and which guy you’re just gonna string along.

Think I’m wrong? Think about this: Every girl says they want a nice, supportive guy. Basically a guy that’s like her bra, only not touching her tits everyday. Yet, that’s never the guy she ends up fucking and staying with now is it? It’s always the ‘bad-ass.’ The douchebag. The metal band player. You name the stereotypes of these guys, you know who I mean.

Then you got guys like me. Guys that, when we find someone, we do all we can to make you smile, keep you happy. We don’t stray. We don’t lie. We’re loyal. But that’s not what you want.

Us nice guys, try to get our dream girls, or even any girl, but we get the short end and end up the shoulder for her to cry on when she inevitably gets dumped. Yet, we have it soooo much better than females.

Females control the dating scene. You put that pussy on a hook and you got dudes lining up, you can take your pick. Us guys actually have to work to get your attention, especially if we’re even moderately non-attractive. If we don’t look like the flavor of the week, you don’t want anything to do with us. And we’re left with nothing while you go pump your Johnny Depp/Taylor Lautner/Brad Pitt look-alikes.

And then… You complain when they treat you bad. You bitch when they’re ignoring you and talking to another player-bitch. You know what? You all deserve it. The nice guys are learning your games. You wonder where ‘all the nice guys have gone’ when you’re the ones that turned us into assholes by breaking our hearts and crushing our spirits. The era of the douchebag-player-asshole-lying-cheating-ingrates is on your shoulders. Go cry somewhere else, cuz we’re not having it anymore.

You have it so much easier, don’t you?

She used to be my roomy, but now she’s all fucked up, Mad-Eye Moody
She was always a whore, and she always showed me the door
She proved that this Nice Guy always finishes last, but her man, he just finishes fast.
She thought she could do better, but I coulda made her wetter
Instead of choosing me, she wound up with an STD.
Now bitch wants to come back?! Yo, that shit is whack!
I don’t have time for these games, that crazy shit is for lames
So, you need to just leave me be. I hope you enjoy burning while you pee :)

Match 1 - Kofi Kingston vs Alberto Del Rio

Alberto Del Rio won via Armbar Submission

Match 2 - Smackdown Elimination Chamber -
Edge vs Kane vs Rey Mysterio vs Drew McIntyre vs Wade Barrett vs Big Show (Show replacing Dolph Ziggler as Ziggler was kayfabe fired)

Edge and Mysterio began the match
Barrett came in 3rd
Kane came in 4th
McIntyre came in 5th
Big Show came in last. No eliminations before all entrants were in.

Wade Barrett eliminated by Big Show via Knockout Punch followed by a pin.
Big Show eliminated after a future shock ddt, a 619, a spear and a chokeslam.
McIntyre eliminated by Kane
Kane eliminated by Edge via spear
Edge countered Rey’s West Coast Pop with a spear FTW!!
Del Rio jumped Edge and Mysterio, Wild Christian Appears!!! Uses Spear! It’s Super Effective! Del Rio stunned. Christian uses Killswitch! Critical Hit Super Effective! Del Rio faints.

Trish Stratus returned. She’s one of the trainers with Booker T and Stone Cold Steve Austin on the new season of Tough Enough.

Match 3 - Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel of The Corre for the Unified Tag Team Championship.

The Corre win via Gabriel’s 450 Splash. New Unified Tag Team Champions. Faction Rivalry to come now that the Corre can go on both shows? We shall see.

Match 4 - The Miz vs Jerry ‘The King’ Lawyer for the WWE Championship

Miz wins via pin after a Skull-Crushing Finale

Match 6 - Raw Elimination Chamber. Where the Winner goes on to face the WWE Champion at WrestleMania XVII
John Cena vs CM Punk vs Sheamus vs Randy Orton vs R-Truth vs John Morrison

Sheamus and Morrison started off the match, followed by Orton coming in 3rd, Punk 4th

Punk eliminated via pin after an RKO
Anonymous Raw GM intervened and allowed CM Punk back in the match as his pod got stuck and he got manhandled by Orton. Punk ‘un-eliminated.’ Punk is back in his pod.

John Cena the ‘new’ 4th entrant to the match due to random draw.

R-Truth 5th entrant.

R-Truth eliminated via pin after a Brogue Kick by Sheamus.

CM Punk is the final entrant.

Orton eliminated via pin after a Go To Sleep by Punk.

Sheamus eliminated via pin after Morrison spidermanned to the middle top of the chamber and dropped on Sheamus.

Morrison eliminated via pin after a Go To Sleep by CM Punk

John Cena wins by pinning CM Punk after an Attitude Adjustment. Epic Fail of a main event.

I don’t write the happy endings people come to expect from stories, movies and novels. I don’t romanticize anything in the long run. I may romanticize a moment, an object, a mindset to enhance symbolism, but in the end, there is no idealism. The realness comes to a head and the dark side of this world is shone to the light. People with their heads in the clouds, end up getting the most rain and lightning. People expect the hero to trump the villain, all good to triumph over evil. Well, not anymore. Not in today’s society. The villain gets their moment in the black hole sun. Evil finally gets its spotlight. And Love… Well.. Love doesn’t conquer all.

When writing, turn the mundane into the extraordinary.

Example: Original Sentence - The man woke up, hit the snooze on his alarm clock and went back to sleep.

Intense variation - The man, after 8 hours of laying in the darkness, awakens from his unconscious state. He stumbles slowly, toward the beeping machine, and bangs the head of the contraption, and hobbles back to the shelter of dreams.

The difference between emo and scene is that scene makes other people want to kill themselves

Llama’s New Dictionary Entry:

One-Downer noun - One who takes a situation and spins it to make it sound like their situation is worse than yours when it isn’t.

Ex - Guy 1 - ‘Dude, this concussion is giving me mad nausea.’

      One-Downer - ‘Yeah dude. I’ve been really sick too. I feel like I’m gonna die’

A single man takes a single step to begin a journey with no destination in mind. The elements resist him, for he was not supposed to be. But this man cared not for the elements, as he had a broken heart and, therefore, cared not for his fate. The journey to nowhere begins with a single step, but little did he know of what he would encounter along the way…